What's been going on this week.

So I have been very quiet lately and there's a pretty good reason for it. I ended up taking my 3 hour glucose test on Monday. I will preface by saying that nothing makes me more nervous than having blood drawn. I hate needles, I hate blood. Yuck. Enough said. I was already extremely apprehensive about this test because I had to take it twice during my pregnancy with Libby. The first time I took it, I threw up before the last blood draw. I ended up passing with one number elevated. So I have been doing SO much research on the subject of GD and the treatment of GD. I have been really watching what I've been eating. The morning of the test, I was a bit difficult. I tried to remain optimistic, but it's hard when you know that you're doing something that could potentially make you sick and to know you're going to be poked like a pin cushion. I got a call from the doctor's office on Wednesday. The nurse told me that the doctor said that my numbers are too high and that I have GD. What?? I was truly shocked. My fasting number was elevated and the 3 hour draw was 143 and they wanted it to be under 140. I'm sorry, that means that I have GD???? I find it hard to believe that there is no room to bend a little bit. The doctor wasn't even going to talk to me about it. You know what's worse? I had to ask them for my numbers. She wasn't even going to tell me. She just told me that I had it and that a dietician and diabetic educator would be calling me to schedule a meeting time. Talk about being upset. So I am just supposed to be a compliant "sheep" and say 'okay'??? Sorry, that's not how I work. I had no idea how quickly the dietitian would call me. She said that they had an appointment opening at 9 am the next day. I told her that I was still reeling from the news and that there was no way I was going to be able to make it in on such short notice. She said that the doctors like us to go in as soon as possible to get the treatment started. I'm sorry. Us? I guess I'm being lumped in with all other people with GD regardless of the severity of it. So my doctor didn't even bother to discuss this with me. That doesn't set well with me. I don't like doctor's who make you feel like you're constantly doing something wrong. I have felt like this the entire pregnancy. Let me start by saying that I am not one of those people who can't talk myself down from stress. I dealt with unusually high blood pressure readings in the beginning of this pregnancy. Mostly because this was a new doctor's office and I didn't know the doctors - it was just an unusual situation for me. So the more comfortable I got the better my readings were. Well when I was 14 weeks, another one of the doctors told me that she was going to label me as chronic hypertension. The only time I have had blood pressure problems was when I had just had Libby. My blood pressure got very high, but it went away about 10-12 weeks after I had her. No biggie. That's something that can happen post partum. I was extremely upset that she labeled me as such, when I had never been to this office before. How would she even know if I had blood pressure problems or not?? So she told me that at 28 weeks I would have to start doing NSTs twice a week. Well I'm now 29 weeks and I have yet to have one because my readings have been okay. They're going to check again tomorrow and probably start those soon. They said that my pressure is still too high for this point in my pregnancy. Whatever. I have also been questioned by another one of the doctors there as to why I'm not gaining weight. I've gained a total of 4 pounds this pregnancy. I am eating, not feeling sick. I can't explain it. I haven't been eating lots of sweets and I've cut out most sugar, so that could be a huge reason. So it seems that no matter what, they're always scrutinizing me and I feel like I can't do things right. So naturally, all of these events this week have made me feel even worse. It is just so hard to believe that they're not even willing to talk to me about my options. The dietitian told me that I would have to come up with a meal plan and begin pricking my finger 4 times a day to keep my GD in check. I find this to be unacceptable. If I am just borderline GD, then I will NOT be pricking my finger 4 times a day. I think the psychological side effects would be far worse for both Claire and myself if I did go along and do exactly what they're wanting me to do. Nate and I have done our research and we both feel that it's best that I just choose a diet and exercise plan that keep my numbers in check. I don't feel like they have my best interest in mind. I think that a lot of it is the fact that the hospital is a business. My doctors sending me to a dietitian and a diabetic educator gives the hospital business. They're making money off of me. I have also read about doctors that prefer women to have smaller babies. I think that's another thing. It's easier for them if I give birth to a baby that's smaller. I'm sorry, but Libby was 8lbs 10oz and she and I are both perfectly healthy. She did have jaundice, but a huge part of that had to do with our blood types conflicting. I think they called it Coombs? I can't remember. Anywho. Yes, I have done my research. I think that God is watching over us and I truly don't feel this particular medical intervention to be necessary. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning and we plan on laying it all our for her there. I know they won't be happy with my decision, but it's my body, it's my life and my pregnancy. I am in charge here and I will decide what is best for my baby and me. I don't feel like this added strain is what is best for either of us. I even read that with the finger prick, that the blood sugar level results can be off sometimes by as much as 10 points. I will not sit there and be stressed out all the time wondering if the testing is truly accurate. I have read articles written from relatively impartial points of view and also written from very partial points of view. It's all about scaring you into listening to and doing absolutely everything your doctor says. Doctor's are human, they make mistakes. The GTT is widely criticized anyway because it's so inaccurate. There are so many different factors involved. So many different scales used. I plan on using my better judgment here. It's a decision that Nate and I have talked at great lengths about. As Claire's parents we feel that not doing the treatment of something so borderline is the best option. Now if my numbers had been at least 8-10 points above where they should be then I would definitely consider treatment, but when I know that stress can affect these results, I am not going to let myself get freaked out. I will not let these doctors push me around. I have changed my diet. I will be changing it even more by adding more protein. I will begin exercising to help with my blood sugar levels. Exercise can work wonders for that. Like I said, I feel that God is truly watching over us and we'll know if we need to make changes. I know this is long, but I have SO much to say about this subject. It has been on my mind constantly and it's time that I get it off my chest and here on my blog. Tomorrow's appointment will be over soon enough and I'll feel much better. I think my biggest fear is them thinking that I am being a careless mother. That is definitely not the case. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be researching the subject so extensively. I know they won't be happy with me, but you know what? I'm not all that happy with them either, so I guess we'll call it Even Stevens. :)

Not much else to report here. Nate and I got to leave work about 45 minutes early today because it was moving day for some of us in my department. They told us that when the IT people came around and told us to start shutting our machines down, there was no reason for us to be there anymore. Cool!! So at 3:15 they came around and we were gone!!

I have so many scrap pages to share that I haven't lately, but that will have to wait till another day. I do have to say that I am LOVING what my CTs are putting out this week!! Wowza!! How lucky am I???

Well, Nate's going to be home soon. He had to help his buddy move a little bit of furniture. Nate's mom and dad are keeping Libby tonight since we're not bringing her to the appointment with us tomorrow. I am going to scrap and watch the Presidential debate. Then Nate and I will just be hanging out the rest of the evening. And I'm out. :)